Rating - A favourite's chance.

R. Easton - Fat Boy Turning Slim's use of the 'wipe yer erse' throwing technique may win the day

Rating - Always puts on a good show - always gets a double O! (Or is Hilary faking it?)

L. Hanlon - Physique suggests he should be a natural for this event. Hiding under the bed after recent Old Firm match shows he could crack under pressure.

Rating - Likely winner.

D. Bridges - This veteran only entered because he thought it was the West End Disco. Rantings about thrashing Liam. As he is too stiff and slow he should be treated with compassion.

Rating - Could rise to the occasion again.

I. Bridges - Recent increase in size suggests he may have trained all year for this event. Former line-dancing skills could be an asset.

Rating - Would be a popular winner

L. Maguire - Film star looks will ensure a big crowd. Dalton's throwing experience from the door of his Bistro will be invaluable. Shoulder injury from the Paperboy Wars could affect his chances.

Rating - Highly fancied (but only by the girls!)

S. Easton - Being the only sponsored athlete (fed by David Bridges Snr.) should help his chances. Only known throwing the odd tantrum in the West End.

Rating - Don't rule this guy out.

C. McGoldrick - The 'Golden Child' as his name suggests, likes to win. Daily throwing up tiles gives high fitness level. Has frozen before at other events, but performs well on camera.

Rating - Good Outsider.

A. Hepburn - Non-athletic appearance suggests little chance, however missile-throwing experience gained with the section B should not be ignored

Rating - Watch the betting.

M. Adams - Big 'IF' Addie was two times Boys' Brigade champion. Weekly exhibitions of lightning movement, power and balance at 5-a-siseds shows he's in great shape.

Rating - Leading contender

Ma Robert - Physical appearance, insistence on entering and constant trips to Holland suggest a possible problem. Claims to lift weights at home.

Rating - No chance

P. Hanlon - West End's forgotten man. Would have used the 'wheelie spin' throwing technique. Unlikely to be given permission to attend.

Rating - Likely non-runner

First Reserve - G. Spittal - Begged entry when fuelled by booze. Claim of being Shipmates Champion to be treated with suspicion.

Late Entries - Scott (prop) Rae, Kenny Cross, Bobby Hawthorn aka Billy Elliot, Hugh Gibb

Void Entry - John Boyce

Mr H. (Simply The Best) Gibb - Mr Honour & Integrity (wife asked who this was???) - who being a 'Gers fan, will ensure a sense of fair play and non-bias. All bribes considered.

Mr D. Bridges Snr - Former Highland Games Official and a shot putt catching champion.